Curtis Mayfield could not be reached for comment.

It’s 1:30 in the morning. I decide that now’s the time for me to go to bed. So I hop into bed, turn off the light, and begin the process of falling asleep.

That’s when I heard it.

It sounded like there was a fly in my room. Actually, this didn’t sound like a fly. It sounded like Superfly. How come? Well, I’ll tell you:

1) You know the buzzing sound a fly makes? Well, this one buzzed a full octave higher.
2) This thing was LOUD. I could hear buzzing all the way across the room.
3) It seemed to be driven towards the goal of landing inside my ear.

Needless to say, the one thing you don’t want to hear while you’re try to fall asleep is the sound of a grotesque mutant insect whizzing about in your room, waiting for you to drift away in earnest so it can fly into your mouth. The first time I heard it, I blew it off. But when the buzzing again about twenty minutes later, I knew that I was not going to be able to rest until Superfly was dead. So now I had to turn on the light, grab a tissue, and track down this beast.

Of course, the Superfly could be found sitting on the wall about three feet away from me. So I arm my tissue, press it into the wall… and miss.

So now the thing is buzzing around again, forcing me to get out of bed and try to keep an eye on it as it flies in its unpredictable pattern. Needless to say, after about three failed attempts to smush the Superfly, it zips away to some unlocatable region in my room. I scan all the walls and every accessible crevasse in my room, but Superfly has now become invisible.

I try to wait it out a little by reading until I hear it buzzing again, but after a few pages of reading I notice that it’s already 2:45 in the morning, and I’m working the next day. So I have to resort to burying my entire person under the covers so that Superfly does not make a visit to my head.

And that’s why I’m so God damn tired right now.

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4 thoughts on “Curtis Mayfield could not be reached for comment.

  1. alphaoperator

    Silly wolf, you shoulda’ just got a can of lysol (almost any semi-toxic aresol might work) or even better, hairspray. Hairspray does wonders on any flying insect (plus you can give your hair that awesome 1987-look with just half a can…)

    Just don’t spray near a lightbulb, I’m not sure if (approximately) 400 degrees can ignite that stuff or not.

    Reply
  2. donaldduck5671

    Of course Curtis Mayfield couldn’t be reached for comment. He’s jamming with Barry White, Marvin Gaye, Miles Davis, and SATCHMO~!

    donald
    they all thought Rick James was too SUperfreaky to play with them 😉

    Reply

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