St. Louis Rams – 23
Seattle Hollow Shells – 12
Time to hang it up, guys. Holmgren, please leave your playbook at the door. Hasselbeck, it was fun while it lasted. Shaun, you were great. Koren, you may want to invest in a third hand during the offseason.
The Seahawks picked up right where they left off the last time they played the Rams – giving them carte blanche to march down the field and score two quick touchdowns on us, while the offense was literally running into each other. The team showed an absolute phobia for the endzone. Even when it looked like they might’ve had a chance to tie the game – with Shaun Alexander breaking out a run late in the third quarter – he managed to botch it by fumbling it away at the 10, handing our momentum right back to St. Louis and effectively icing the game.
This team has no heart. If they did, they wouldn’t have melted down in their first loss. If they did, they wouldn’t have spotted the Pats two scores the following week, or dropped 1,924 passes against the Cardinals. If they did, they wouldn’t have given the most explosive offense in the league a 14-point headstart, pissed away two separate opportunities for touchdowns, and scored points only by the good graces of Josh Brown’s right leg. For all the talent this team has – and they have plenty – they have an utter inability to make plays when it matters.
Even if they make it into the playoffs – which they’re still likely to do only because the rest of their schedule includes sacrificial lambs like Miami and Dallas – they won’t get past the wild card round. Why’s that? Well, for one thing, every playoff game is televised nationally. Point a TV camera at the ‘Hawks and they forget which way is up. For another thing, you have to play teams that have won more than one game during the regular season. The combined record of the teams Seattle’s beaten is 2-12, and they’re 0-3 against teams with a .500 record or better.
So this season is now over, for all intents and purposes. In the offseason, Holmgren will be fired, we’ll lose Alexander and OT Walter Jones to free agency, and they can go back to being the perennial 6-10 team they’ve been for the last 15 years.