Worst Case Finals

Good lord, did Bud Selig become commissioner of the NBA and nobody told anyone?

I swear, this year’s NBA playoffs is shaping up to be a repeat of the 2003 League Championship Series in baseball. Here exist two teams: the Phoenix Suns, one of the most energetic and vivacious teams we’ve seen in a good long time, headed by MVP Steve Nash and rising star Amare Stoudamire; and the Miami Heat, featuring the league’s most dominant and well-recognized player in Shaquille O’Neal and the league’s best-kept secret, Dwyane Wade, who appears to have talent and charisma that may even surpass the much-hyped LeBron.

Everyone wants a Suns-Heat NBA Finals. No, seriously. Everyone wants a Suns-Heat final.

So of course, what’s going to happen? They’re both going to lose. They’ve both already lost their first games, and I honestly don’t see both teams overcoming their loss of home-court advantage. This means that just like the 2003 Worst Case Series, we’re going to have the Worst Case Finals. Sorry, folks – it’s going to be the Pistons and the Spurs fighting it out to seven laborious games, neither team scoring more than 70 points a game, to end what was supposed to be the season that revived the NBA. Just like 2003, when a bunch of nobodies played a bunch of overpaid snobs that were owned by a monopolistic owner, now we get to watch a team with the combined charm of a baked potato, a team with the league’s biggest flopper (Manu Ginobili) and its biggest cheap-shot artist (Bruce Bowen) playing against a bunch of thugs who bait opponents into fights (Ben Wallace, I’m looking in your direction).

The NBA – it’s fan-tastic!


8 thoughts on “Worst Case Finals

  1. m1_prominence

    Yeah it would have been great if Boston went to the series in 2003, after all they had a larger budget then New York.

    And the Yankees have never had a moving or emotional world series, 2001 Arizona was boring.

  2. loogaroo

    It had nothing to do with the budget.

    It had everything to do with the fact that a Boston vs. Cubs series was the most engaging combination of teams possible. One of them hadn’t won a WS title in 85 years. The other hadn’t even gotten to the WS since 192something. One team was guaranteed to shed the demons of 80+ years. That’s worth watching.

    Instead, the 2003 WS was a competition between a team of high-priced androids (like they say, rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for the house in a casino) against a team notorious for its systematic dismantling of their first championship roster. You’re telling me that given a choice between Sox-Cubs and Yanks-Marlins, the latter is the more aesthetically pleasing series? Honestly.

    Also, I think a lot of the animosity towards the Yanks stems from the 2000 Yankees-Mets World Series. At that point, a lot of people started getting very tired of New York dominating everything.

    I will say, though, that my disdain for the Yankees has cooled off somewhat now that they’re not the monolithic superpower they once were. Now that they’ve lost that “master race” quality to them, it won’t feel like the entire season in the AL was wasted if they make it back to the World Series again.

  3. usasatsui

    You make it sound like it’s Pro Wrestling and the people in charge of the league actually have any input at all who wins and who loses.

    Unfortunately, it doesn’t matter what fans “want to see”, or even what anyone wants to see. You beat the other team…or you go home.


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