Call me crazy, but…

riversidedimple has invited me to the Dodgers vs. Giants game tomorrow. Now, as you all know, I regard Barry Bonds’ pursuit of the career home run record to be one of the biggest travesties in modern sports, and believe that when #756 goes over the wall, it will mark the death of professional baseball as a credible sport. Oddly enough, I very well might witness this event firsthand.

While at work on Monday, I casually mentioned that if fortune smiled upon me to send that home run ball in my direction (never mind that I probably won’t be sitting in fair territory), and I managed to catch the accursed thing, I would give it the ol’ Wrigley Field treatment.

I know what most of you – if not all of you – are thinking: “Are you frick crazy?? That ball could be worth millions! It’s a part of baseball history! And even if you throw the ball back, someone else will just pick it up and sell it anyway!”

Well, allow me to address each point. Of course, I realize I’m a total naysayer here, but hear me out.

First off, regarding the potential fortune that selling the record-breaking ball could bring me. I’ve been unapologetic in my condemnation of Barry Bonds. The man could’ve just as easily walked off the field in the late ’90s or even early ’00s and earn a Capital One No-Hassle Pass to the Hall of Fame. But instead, he chose to extend his career unnaturally by turning to steroids, and as a result, has already desecrated one hallowed record.* If and when Bonds hits the record-breaker, it will be mourned by the vast majority of baseball fans. So why should anybody profit from something that has damaged the sport so much?

(* – Yes, I know that the record was previously held by someone who also has had his share of damage to his reputation. But I don’t believe anyone who hasn’t been at the very least suspected of steroid use has hit more than 61 home runs, so if I have to use Roger Maris’ number as the legitimate one, then so be it.)

As for someone else taking the ball and profiting from it, that’s something I can’t control. But just because someone else is willing to compromise themselves for an easy buck doesn’t mean that I’m going to. Hell, if another person manages to score a six- or even seven-digit jackpot with the ball, that’s great for him, because I can’t fathom why anyone would spend money on such a vile thing. That ball should be as worthless as the record it broke.

So, yeah, I know that I’m being a bit immature about the whole thing. As previously established, I’m not even a fan of the sport. But I do respect its history – far more than a certain player does. So if I do get my hands on the home run ball, it won’t be for long.

(Now, a foul ball… I might hang on to that.)

EDIT: Jason wasn’t able to get tickets (tomorrow’s game was sold out), and they aren’t gonna start Barry tomorrow anyway, so it appears this whole thing is moot.


10 thoughts on “Call me crazy, but…

  1. caffymajin

    I feel the same way, if i caught the record breaker i’d throw it right back on the field. I’d feel totally dirty if i used it for money in any way, and ARod will break it in 8 years or so.

  2. tleberle

    Considering the amount of journal inches that you’ve given to a topic that you have repeated that you can’t stand, why are you going to the game? You’ve said it’s slow, low-scoring and intolerable. And yet, you’re going to watch it live.

    I’m not even going to bother with that banal screed that you’ve written about how you’d throw back That Home Run Ball, because it’s not going to happen. As far as I’m concerned, you’re just as big a rank hypocrite for going to the game in the first place.

    Please give a rest to the “756 == number of the beast, death of baseball” thing. It’s silly and old. You sound like a petulant child.

  3. nosaer

    I totally think you should throw the ball back rather than say, selling it and giving the money to MSF. I mean, if you did that, you might feel annoyed by the record, and we all know that is way worse than tens of thousands of children starving to death. Good call!

  4. loogaroo

    Well, if I did that then at least the money would’ve gone towards something honorable. MSF isn’t my charity, though; I’d probably go with either Make a Wish or the Salvation Army.


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