37 times bitten, twice shy

I saw this as a link on top of my GMail inbox earlier today, and found it quite amusing. Here’s an excerpt:

“I started looking for opportunities to make money on the internet a little over a year ago when I needed a job. I wanted a good job but I had little experience and got rejected from a $10/hour job so I knew there must be an easier way on the internet.

“I spent the next 3 months trying almost every business opportunity online and off. I was scammed by 37 different ‘get rich quick schemes’ and I lost over $4800 in 3 months. Everyone of these so called money making programs all said the same thing ‘they were going to help me make a lot of money with out having any experience’ I was in the position where I had to create an income quick, I had no other choice. Even though I thought most of these programs were probably scams I tried them anyway because I knew that if just one of these programs worked for me that is all it would take.

“Out of 39 programs 37 were complete scams that just took my money. Only 2 of the programs actually worked. I am going to give you an honest review of the 2 programs that did work for me. Although you might not make money as fast as they say you will, you will make money if you follow their steps. Below is my brutally honest opinion about each program. If you are looking at any other program besides these two you are most likely wasting your time, because I have tried them all and these are the only 2 that work.”

He then proceeds to pimp out the other two websites that supposedly did work out. Of course, the guy gives us only a first name, and has a huge, uncloseable “pop-up” like window right on top of the above testimonial (I actually had to go into the page source to find the text the pop-up obscures) asking for your name and E-mail address. Not to mention that the two reviews for the supposedly “good” websites has absolutely none of the skepticism or wariness that you would expect someone who’s gotten stung more than three dozen times on similar ventures.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but if I knew someone who got screwed after 37 separate attempts at making a quick buck online, I wouldn’t be particularly inclined to follow him off of cliff #38. Even if this guy’s story was legit, the fact that he was gullible enough to believe every get-rich-quick plan out there in the first place leads me to believe that any money he makes on his current endeavor is likely to be flushed down to the toilet investing in alpaca futures.

(The funniest thing about it is the fact that even though he finally found a website that supposedly earned him money, he still found it necessary to find a second site. Y’know, because he may have “banked $2400 in profit in only 6 days”, but apparently that’s not enough to support his extravagant lifestyle – he needs a second site to supplement the income he’s making from the first.)

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